Yesterday was Columbia Turnpike day, which of course means again that I'm horribly hungover. As usual the invite got lost in the post and went about two days beforehand from my work email therefore only went to people who's emails were there then.
I really need to fix that.
Anyway there was a great moment early on when I looked around the table at the first eight or nine people who had arrived. There was a random collection of old friends who hadn't seen each other in years catching up and people who had never met before nattering away like they've been friends for years. It always amazes me how quickly that happens.
It was just a real shame that most of the people I actually wanted to be there weren't.
May 13, 2007
April 29, 2007
Random acts of Madness
Last night I went to a boat cruise in aid of cancer research and epilepsy. It was black tie so I wore my kilt. I have no idea if that's what led to the randomness of the evening, but I like to think so.
First off, because I didn't particularly fancy walking through town in a kilt, I booked my second ever taxi in Southampton. It made it around the corner before it broke down. Pushing a taxi to one side whilst wearing full black tie wasn't quite what I'd had in mind for the evening. To make matters worse the driver gave rubbish directions to where we were so it took the replacement taxi a good fifteen minutes to find us.
But I got over it and continued onwards to the boat. Where I discovered there was a raffle (charity remember) which included in it's prizes a two litre keg of Grants Whisky. Since I was the only person there in Scottish dress I decided I was going to win it and since by this time I'd had a few drinks I announced that I was going to win it.
Six pounds worth of tickets later the first ticket was drawn. It was the first ticket I'd bought. The power of positive thinking I guess.
After the party ended I stashed the whisky in a friends car so I could go on to the pub. Unfortunately one pizza later they decided they were tired and were going to go home, so I went back to get the whisky and hence was on my own when I tried to get into the pub. Apparently they don't like someone who's admittedly slightly drunk going in with a two litre keg of whisky. Which is probably a good thing all things considered, I think I'd had enough to drink.
This did however leave me with no ride back through town and no-one to share the ridiculously priced taxi with. So despite planning to not have to walk through Southampton, I did. It wasn't actually that bad. Although in a further bizarre twist of fate I quickly discovered a rather attractive blonde lady walking with me. I'm not sure if she was trying to escape someone or if she was just bored like she said, but I decided I was going to walk her to the club she was going to. I also bought her a chocolate bar, because, well why the hell not? Unfortunately the club was a bit of a dive and not really feeling the need to be turned down entry I made excuses and legged it.
I then discovered that the reason the walk hadn't been that bad was because of said cute blonde girl. Every idiot and their dog wanted to know how I wore my kilt. Fortunately by this stage I wasn't too far from the flat so I managed to sneak through back roads with only a few oh so witty rejoinders. What do people expect you to say when they ask?
But the randomness didn't end when I got home. Oh no, I arrived to be informed that someone had broken into the flat. Steinar had heard the door open just after eleven and he came out a few minutes later to find a complete stranger in the kitchen. The stranger then ran out the front door. Steinar thinks the stranger had something under his arm but it was dark and he can't really say for sure. Nothing appears to have been taken anyway so no idea what was going on there really.
So at this point I did the only sensible thing and started drinking the whisky. It was the only thing that made any sense.
First off, because I didn't particularly fancy walking through town in a kilt, I booked my second ever taxi in Southampton. It made it around the corner before it broke down. Pushing a taxi to one side whilst wearing full black tie wasn't quite what I'd had in mind for the evening. To make matters worse the driver gave rubbish directions to where we were so it took the replacement taxi a good fifteen minutes to find us.
But I got over it and continued onwards to the boat. Where I discovered there was a raffle (charity remember) which included in it's prizes a two litre keg of Grants Whisky. Since I was the only person there in Scottish dress I decided I was going to win it and since by this time I'd had a few drinks I announced that I was going to win it.
Six pounds worth of tickets later the first ticket was drawn. It was the first ticket I'd bought. The power of positive thinking I guess.
After the party ended I stashed the whisky in a friends car so I could go on to the pub. Unfortunately one pizza later they decided they were tired and were going to go home, so I went back to get the whisky and hence was on my own when I tried to get into the pub. Apparently they don't like someone who's admittedly slightly drunk going in with a two litre keg of whisky. Which is probably a good thing all things considered, I think I'd had enough to drink.
This did however leave me with no ride back through town and no-one to share the ridiculously priced taxi with. So despite planning to not have to walk through Southampton, I did. It wasn't actually that bad. Although in a further bizarre twist of fate I quickly discovered a rather attractive blonde lady walking with me. I'm not sure if she was trying to escape someone or if she was just bored like she said, but I decided I was going to walk her to the club she was going to. I also bought her a chocolate bar, because, well why the hell not? Unfortunately the club was a bit of a dive and not really feeling the need to be turned down entry I made excuses and legged it.
I then discovered that the reason the walk hadn't been that bad was because of said cute blonde girl. Every idiot and their dog wanted to know how I wore my kilt. Fortunately by this stage I wasn't too far from the flat so I managed to sneak through back roads with only a few oh so witty rejoinders. What do people expect you to say when they ask?
But the randomness didn't end when I got home. Oh no, I arrived to be informed that someone had broken into the flat. Steinar had heard the door open just after eleven and he came out a few minutes later to find a complete stranger in the kitchen. The stranger then ran out the front door. Steinar thinks the stranger had something under his arm but it was dark and he can't really say for sure. Nothing appears to have been taken anyway so no idea what was going on there really.
So at this point I did the only sensible thing and started drinking the whisky. It was the only thing that made any sense.
April 26, 2007
Day tripping
The annoying thing about my current project is that every so often I get sent up to a little place just outside London. Actually it's not really that annoying since it gets me out of the office for the day, but it's a two hour trip there on the train which seems a little bit like eternity. I really do wonder sometimes how I've managed to commute so far for so long.
Anyway, usually when I get sent up I have some great big project to do. Something that I can really get my teeth into and enjoy for four hours or so. Last Tuesday however I spent the morning heading up with a rather large box with the express purpose of hot-swapping a part over. This basically means that I unclip a part from the back of a machine and then replace it with a new part without turning the machine off. And it probably took longer to explain that than it does to actually do it.
So it was rather annoying to get there and discover that I'd taken the wrong part up.
I'm going back again tomorrow. I've managed to scrounge up a few other jobs so I might actually have to spend a good hour there now, but basically I've got a four hour round trip to do one really important and ridiculously quick job, and two rather mundane and boring jobs.
Bugger.
Anyway, usually when I get sent up I have some great big project to do. Something that I can really get my teeth into and enjoy for four hours or so. Last Tuesday however I spent the morning heading up with a rather large box with the express purpose of hot-swapping a part over. This basically means that I unclip a part from the back of a machine and then replace it with a new part without turning the machine off. And it probably took longer to explain that than it does to actually do it.
So it was rather annoying to get there and discover that I'd taken the wrong part up.
I'm going back again tomorrow. I've managed to scrounge up a few other jobs so I might actually have to spend a good hour there now, but basically I've got a four hour round trip to do one really important and ridiculously quick job, and two rather mundane and boring jobs.
Bugger.
April 12, 2007
300
The plot of this movie is hloosely based on the Battle of Thermopylae in 480 B.C. It tells how 300 Spartans came to hold the pass of Thermopylae against might of the Persian army, which numbered over a million soldiers. Oh, apparently some Arcadians helped out the Spartans as well, but whatever.
That's the basic plot of 300. Or as I like to call it the first five minutes. Once that's out the way you can sit back and enjoy an hour and a half of comedy violence and partial nudity. There's some crappy subplot about the Spartan Queen gathering support, but really this film is all about the action. And by that I mean violence. I mean really, I think the length of the film is based solely upon the amount of blood they can afford.
It is based upon a Frank Miller comic, and so it does suffer a little from the Sin City effect (i.e. the visual style is pretty to start off with but quickly becomes boring). But did I mention the comedy violence yet? Oh, and if you think this is mainly a blokes film, bear in mind that the vast majority of the nudity is provided by the 300 six-packs that are being thrown around the screen...
That's the basic plot of 300. Or as I like to call it the first five minutes. Once that's out the way you can sit back and enjoy an hour and a half of comedy violence and partial nudity. There's some crappy subplot about the Spartan Queen gathering support, but really this film is all about the action. And by that I mean violence. I mean really, I think the length of the film is based solely upon the amount of blood they can afford.
It is based upon a Frank Miller comic, and so it does suffer a little from the Sin City effect (i.e. the visual style is pretty to start off with but quickly becomes boring). But did I mention the comedy violence yet? Oh, and if you think this is mainly a blokes film, bear in mind that the vast majority of the nudity is provided by the 300 six-packs that are being thrown around the screen...
April 04, 2007
Very Important
I just got yet another obviously hoax chain email. I've replied before and I've tried before and quite frankly I've had enough. So I'm going to do the only thing left to me. Pay attention.
No email will give you something for nothing. It's a con. Delete it and don't send it on.
Any real email will have a date in it. If it doesn't that's because it is ridiculously old. Delete it and don't send it on.
No company would be involved with an email and not include a link to a website. Delete it and don't send it on.
You will be warned about bad things via the news. Not email. Delete it and don't send it on.
If you do forward an email on, please delete all the old email addresses on it first. Otherwise it's just a long list of email addresses for spammers. Alternatively: Delete it and don't send it on.
If you've carefully read what I have just written then know that this email was created on 04/04/07. It is a chain, but it serves no purpose other than making my life easier. Your's too, which is a bonus. Could you please send it on to two other people? Thank you.
If you haven't read a single thing I've said then this email will cause you to DIE in the next 24 hours unless you forward it on to at least 5 people. THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!
No email will give you something for nothing. It's a con. Delete it and don't send it on.
Any real email will have a date in it. If it doesn't that's because it is ridiculously old. Delete it and don't send it on.
No company would be involved with an email and not include a link to a website. Delete it and don't send it on.
You will be warned about bad things via the news. Not email. Delete it and don't send it on.
If you do forward an email on, please delete all the old email addresses on it first. Otherwise it's just a long list of email addresses for spammers. Alternatively: Delete it and don't send it on.
If you've carefully read what I have just written then know that this email was created on 04/04/07. It is a chain, but it serves no purpose other than making my life easier. Your's too, which is a bonus. Could you please send it on to two other people? Thank you.
If you haven't read a single thing I've said then this email will cause you to DIE in the next 24 hours unless you forward it on to at least 5 people. THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!
March 20, 2007
My problem is...
...when I was younger I was told that I'd either turn out to be very weird, or very funny.
It turns out I'm a fish.
It turns out I'm a fish.
March 09, 2007
Shaving by Candlelight
For those of you that don't know the bathroom in my flat it has a frosted, blue glass arch around the doorway. It wasn't frosted when we moved in, but that's a whole other story. It also has glazed windows which lead out onto a huge square full of streetlights. This has very little relevance to the following story, but bare with me, it's important.
Getting back from work where I'd been lifting and moving all day, I was kinda sweaty so I immediately jumped in the shower. The shower radio was set to Classic FM (it surprisingly good to shower to, most of the time). The problem with this radio is that thanks to it's position it's remarkably hard to find a station with a good signal, so changing it is hardly ever done. If you do happen to change it then you pretty much stick with the first station you find since you'll never find it again, or any other station, if you carry on looking.
Unfortunately this time Classic FM was doing the travel news. Now I might be a little weird here but listening to the travel news in the shower when you don't drive doesn't really seem like my cup of tea. With some trepidation I changed the station - and immediately found some weird, possibly Israeli, radio station that to be honest I didn't know existed. However it was playing music, and I knew that I'd never find another if I carried on looking. So I bit the bullet and went with it. I mean what else could I do?
So there I was, showering away to this bizarre station, when the lights started to flicker. At first I thought the circuit was going or there was a power fluctuation. Then the lights cut out - but only the lights in the bathroom. This left me showering to weird Israeli music lit on one side by the blue glow through the glass arch, and on the other side by the orange street lights from the square. It was truly surreal.
I finally finished showering and, after a quick fiddle around with the bulbs to check they worked, I came to the conclusion that there's some dodgy wiring in the ceiling somewhere that finally failed. So no lights in the bathroom.
Which left me with the interesting prospect of working out how on earth I was supposed to shave. Since I have a heap of candles in my room the obvious answer was by candlelight. It worked surprisingly well. It somehow gave a much more powerful feel to the experience. Next time you shave (if you do shave) I recommend it. It's... freeing in a way.
It also returned me to a realisation that I've had a number of times - all the events of our lives are essentially meaningless. They're simply defined by the moments where for some strange reason something simple and ordinary is promoted to something that is somehow sublimely powerful. It can be anything: a look, a laugh, a smile, a tear or even a shave.
It's a moment that you can't plan and you can't predict but which nevertheless tells you that everything is going to be okay. Somehow, it's all going to just work out okay.
Getting back from work where I'd been lifting and moving all day, I was kinda sweaty so I immediately jumped in the shower. The shower radio was set to Classic FM (it surprisingly good to shower to, most of the time). The problem with this radio is that thanks to it's position it's remarkably hard to find a station with a good signal, so changing it is hardly ever done. If you do happen to change it then you pretty much stick with the first station you find since you'll never find it again, or any other station, if you carry on looking.
Unfortunately this time Classic FM was doing the travel news. Now I might be a little weird here but listening to the travel news in the shower when you don't drive doesn't really seem like my cup of tea. With some trepidation I changed the station - and immediately found some weird, possibly Israeli, radio station that to be honest I didn't know existed. However it was playing music, and I knew that I'd never find another if I carried on looking. So I bit the bullet and went with it. I mean what else could I do?
So there I was, showering away to this bizarre station, when the lights started to flicker. At first I thought the circuit was going or there was a power fluctuation. Then the lights cut out - but only the lights in the bathroom. This left me showering to weird Israeli music lit on one side by the blue glow through the glass arch, and on the other side by the orange street lights from the square. It was truly surreal.
I finally finished showering and, after a quick fiddle around with the bulbs to check they worked, I came to the conclusion that there's some dodgy wiring in the ceiling somewhere that finally failed. So no lights in the bathroom.
Which left me with the interesting prospect of working out how on earth I was supposed to shave. Since I have a heap of candles in my room the obvious answer was by candlelight. It worked surprisingly well. It somehow gave a much more powerful feel to the experience. Next time you shave (if you do shave) I recommend it. It's... freeing in a way.
It also returned me to a realisation that I've had a number of times - all the events of our lives are essentially meaningless. They're simply defined by the moments where for some strange reason something simple and ordinary is promoted to something that is somehow sublimely powerful. It can be anything: a look, a laugh, a smile, a tear or even a shave.
It's a moment that you can't plan and you can't predict but which nevertheless tells you that everything is going to be okay. Somehow, it's all going to just work out okay.
February 15, 2007
Cultural Sittings
Last night I went to the Ballet with a friend and her parents (and before anyone starts leaping to Valentine type conclusions, she's just a friend and her boyfriend hates Ballet). The Ballet in question was called Marjorie's World Unhinged and was completely unlike any idea of Ballet you have. It involved films being shown on screens and dances with balloons and dresses. It was rather good though. It took the first half for me to really get into the style of it, people dancing to the spoken word was not quite what I expected. Vignettes of sound and movement, a ballet class seen from above (with two people dancing on the floor).
One of the later dances involved a man dancing with a dress and pretending it was his mother. It was scarily believable the way he got the dress to move, like there was another person there.
It was also the type of show where I think it will take me a while to put all of the different pieces together. Every dance was a sort of dream in a way, and had that odd, dream like quality to it where nothing is quite what it seemed. A father and son dancing became an older man dancing with his younger self and back again.
To be honest, I don't think I'll be able to put a proper feeling on it for another couple of weeks or so. I'd also like to see it again just so I can properly appreciate it.
But overall I think i enjoyed it.
One of the later dances involved a man dancing with a dress and pretending it was his mother. It was scarily believable the way he got the dress to move, like there was another person there.
It was also the type of show where I think it will take me a while to put all of the different pieces together. Every dance was a sort of dream in a way, and had that odd, dream like quality to it where nothing is quite what it seemed. A father and son dancing became an older man dancing with his younger self and back again.
To be honest, I don't think I'll be able to put a proper feeling on it for another couple of weeks or so. I'd also like to see it again just so I can properly appreciate it.
But overall I think i enjoyed it.
February 12, 2007
A walk in winter
Like most people who spend a large amount of time around computers, I have a series of websites that I visit. Some of these are nearly every day (or at least every time I get online). Some of them are only once or twice a year.
One such annual page is York Stories, a lovely page about wandering around York. It's part blog, part tourist guide, part guided walk list and basically a wonderful site. So I was very interested to see the authors thoughts on walking in winter.
Obviously with the return of the walk to work I've had a bit more freetime to just generally think about walking, and I think they've got it wrong. Yes, there are plenty of walks about the outside world. Walks where you see and do. But at this time of year the walk has to be less about the outside and more about the inside.
Because there's something about the rhythm of walking that makes it almost meditative. It switches off part of your brain, and you find yourself floating along, moving without thought or direction until the destination is reached.
There's a wonderful quote from the West Wing "At night we become poets". Okay, it's a wonderful quote in context then, but I think it's true of walking as well.
When we walk we become poets, and the entire vagaries of life are met and matched by our stride.
One such annual page is York Stories, a lovely page about wandering around York. It's part blog, part tourist guide, part guided walk list and basically a wonderful site. So I was very interested to see the authors thoughts on walking in winter.
Obviously with the return of the walk to work I've had a bit more freetime to just generally think about walking, and I think they've got it wrong. Yes, there are plenty of walks about the outside world. Walks where you see and do. But at this time of year the walk has to be less about the outside and more about the inside.
Because there's something about the rhythm of walking that makes it almost meditative. It switches off part of your brain, and you find yourself floating along, moving without thought or direction until the destination is reached.
There's a wonderful quote from the West Wing "At night we become poets". Okay, it's a wonderful quote in context then, but I think it's true of walking as well.
When we walk we become poets, and the entire vagaries of life are met and matched by our stride.
February 08, 2007
I am feeling sleepy...
It's possible that I might just possibly get a good nights sleep this weekend. I might not, but you really never know. I seem to be in one of those periodic stages when my social life has gone slightly crazy. Definitely a good thing, but also... Well, a nice long lie in would do me wonderfully well!
Still gym tonight and then hopefully an early night.
Oh and the new project is going really well. It's slightly frustrating at times, since everything depends on everything else and I'm currently waiting on four separate people in order to finish four separate jobs. Somehow I get the feeling that it's all going to come crashing down on me at once :) But that doesn't matter so much, it just means there's something to look forward to.
I'm starting to think that I thrive on pressure.
But all the same, I'm back in the place where the working day flies past, even though it feels like I spend half of it twiddling my thumbs (it's not true, but it feels like it sometimes). I think that makes a huge difference to job satisfaction!
It also appears that there's a continuation of this project in London for six months. It'll be mostly sitting in a hotel room, but if I am offered it I'll be sorely tempted to take it up. I'm probably the obvious choice since I don't have a family so it's won't be as bad for me. Plus it's not like I don't know anyone in London!
Even if I would never want to live in London. Who knows? Maybe I'll be converted!
Still gym tonight and then hopefully an early night.
Oh and the new project is going really well. It's slightly frustrating at times, since everything depends on everything else and I'm currently waiting on four separate people in order to finish four separate jobs. Somehow I get the feeling that it's all going to come crashing down on me at once :) But that doesn't matter so much, it just means there's something to look forward to.
I'm starting to think that I thrive on pressure.
But all the same, I'm back in the place where the working day flies past, even though it feels like I spend half of it twiddling my thumbs (it's not true, but it feels like it sometimes). I think that makes a huge difference to job satisfaction!
It also appears that there's a continuation of this project in London for six months. It'll be mostly sitting in a hotel room, but if I am offered it I'll be sorely tempted to take it up. I'm probably the obvious choice since I don't have a family so it's won't be as bad for me. Plus it's not like I don't know anyone in London!
Even if I would never want to live in London. Who knows? Maybe I'll be converted!
January 19, 2007
New Job
Well not really, I'll still be working for the same company but it's a completely different project on a completely different site so it feels like it's a new job. I'll be working in Christchurch for the next six months or so.
The downside is that the site is about two miles from the nearest train station so it looks like I'll be walking for a while. At least until I work out buses anyway.
The weird thing is just how energised I feel about the whole thing. Even if it is the same company it's a huge relief just to get out of Portsmouth. I guess I didn't realise how much I dislike this place, but then you never do until you go do you?
It's only for six to nine months and then I suppose I'll be back here. But then to be honest I might just use the end of this project as an excuse to move on to other things. We'll see!
The downside is that the site is about two miles from the nearest train station so it looks like I'll be walking for a while. At least until I work out buses anyway.
The weird thing is just how energised I feel about the whole thing. Even if it is the same company it's a huge relief just to get out of Portsmouth. I guess I didn't realise how much I dislike this place, but then you never do until you go do you?
It's only for six to nine months and then I suppose I'll be back here. But then to be honest I might just use the end of this project as an excuse to move on to other things. We'll see!
December 10, 2006
Drunk and stupid
Hey, look, two posts in as many days. It's like a bus. You wait ages for one...
So let's start by saying this isn't a pity post. Yes, I only had the conversation with S last night so I'm still in the crash and burn phase, but that's somehow irrelevant right now. Maybe it's denial, maybe not, but I've been going crazy mad for the last week while I tried to work out what was going on with S. I'm okay. I can't really explain it, but I am.
She is one hell of a lady, but then I wouldn't have dated her if she wasn't. The annoying thing, right now, is the realisation that I'm never going to be that guy. I can try, and I will always be charming, attractive and funny, but I'm just plain not desirable. There is for what ever reason something lacking. Yes, I know, I will find an absolutely gorgeous woman eventually, but I'm no longer convinced that I'll get the four children. I'm okay with that.
I'll find her in the mid-thirties/early forties, and it'll be great. A companion, someone to share my life with and enjoy it, but we're never going to be ripping each others clothes off. I guess really that's all I exoect, because if I wanted more than that I'd be out hunting the meat markets to see what I could find.
Yes, I'm probably just in the crash and everything will be different next year but even if it's not, even if I am right, at worst I'll end up happy. I have after all had an amazing life so far.
I look forward to seeing what happens next.
So let's start by saying this isn't a pity post. Yes, I only had the conversation with S last night so I'm still in the crash and burn phase, but that's somehow irrelevant right now. Maybe it's denial, maybe not, but I've been going crazy mad for the last week while I tried to work out what was going on with S. I'm okay. I can't really explain it, but I am.
She is one hell of a lady, but then I wouldn't have dated her if she wasn't. The annoying thing, right now, is the realisation that I'm never going to be that guy. I can try, and I will always be charming, attractive and funny, but I'm just plain not desirable. There is for what ever reason something lacking. Yes, I know, I will find an absolutely gorgeous woman eventually, but I'm no longer convinced that I'll get the four children. I'm okay with that.
I'll find her in the mid-thirties/early forties, and it'll be great. A companion, someone to share my life with and enjoy it, but we're never going to be ripping each others clothes off. I guess really that's all I exoect, because if I wanted more than that I'd be out hunting the meat markets to see what I could find.
Yes, I'm probably just in the crash and everything will be different next year but even if it's not, even if I am right, at worst I'll end up happy. I have after all had an amazing life so far.
I look forward to seeing what happens next.
December 09, 2006
The current state of play
Okay. Buckle up because I've got a couple of months to catch up on and a lot has happened. Lets start with S and I getting together. And God it was great. I mean really great. She really is an amazing woman in so many ways. Not least that she had the guts to break up with me a week ago.
Yep, once again I screwed up a relationship. At least I'm consistent, right? Well I say I screwed up but to be honest in some weird way it wasn't working. It was subtle, I'll give it that, but it was somehow wrong. Sometimes I think that the whole dating friends thing will never quite work. Too much history in the wrong way.
But I'm okay with it. I mean I really am. She is an amazing woman in every way. Pretty much everything I could ever want from someone. Except the spark. You know what I'm talking about - the one little thing that makes a relationship work.
I'm reminded at this point of a penny arcade strip. Specifically this one. Love is such a funny word. It means so many things. In this case yesterday it meant that I was willing to spend the rest of my life with her. Today, after spending an hour waiting in the cold for her to get home from work (next time I do that I really must learn when she finishes work), it means a friend who I can rely on to tell me the truth no matter how much it might hurt her.
Also it means whisky (hey Dad, I spelt it right - this time at least). But that's because I've had too many this evening. About half a bottle to be exact. Who needs a liver anyway?
I've also realised that the problem with crazy, impulsive romantic gestures is that they rarely end up being romantic. That means they're just crazy and impulsive. Impulsive is good, but you end up in the cold freezing your arse off (and also looking vaguely threatening because you're wrapped up in so many layers apparently) and being really hungry. So all you're left with is crazy, which is never attractive. So I guess there must be more to a relationship than romance, like the rest of your life or something.
How does that work in polite society then?
This would probably be the point that I'd let it go and leave it for the comments, but strangely I find I can't (probably the whisky again). Oh, for the record, as two friends S and I decided that we needed to work out how the relationship worked before we told people, so if there is anyone reading this going 'who's S?' then really you need to phone me more. Yes, I'm guilty too. That's life, that is.
I'm going to go now.
Yep, once again I screwed up a relationship. At least I'm consistent, right? Well I say I screwed up but to be honest in some weird way it wasn't working. It was subtle, I'll give it that, but it was somehow wrong. Sometimes I think that the whole dating friends thing will never quite work. Too much history in the wrong way.
But I'm okay with it. I mean I really am. She is an amazing woman in every way. Pretty much everything I could ever want from someone. Except the spark. You know what I'm talking about - the one little thing that makes a relationship work.
I'm reminded at this point of a penny arcade strip. Specifically this one. Love is such a funny word. It means so many things. In this case yesterday it meant that I was willing to spend the rest of my life with her. Today, after spending an hour waiting in the cold for her to get home from work (next time I do that I really must learn when she finishes work), it means a friend who I can rely on to tell me the truth no matter how much it might hurt her.
Also it means whisky (hey Dad, I spelt it right - this time at least). But that's because I've had too many this evening. About half a bottle to be exact. Who needs a liver anyway?
I've also realised that the problem with crazy, impulsive romantic gestures is that they rarely end up being romantic. That means they're just crazy and impulsive. Impulsive is good, but you end up in the cold freezing your arse off (and also looking vaguely threatening because you're wrapped up in so many layers apparently) and being really hungry. So all you're left with is crazy, which is never attractive. So I guess there must be more to a relationship than romance, like the rest of your life or something.
How does that work in polite society then?
This would probably be the point that I'd let it go and leave it for the comments, but strangely I find I can't (probably the whisky again). Oh, for the record, as two friends S and I decided that we needed to work out how the relationship worked before we told people, so if there is anyone reading this going 'who's S?' then really you need to phone me more. Yes, I'm guilty too. That's life, that is.
I'm going to go now.
October 25, 2006
Another witty title
Sometimes no matter what you do, life just plain sucks.
Insomnia is the reason this time around. :(
Insomnia is the reason this time around. :(
October 17, 2006
Yet another random post
I'll apologise now because I really do have nothing to say here, it's just been ages since I've posted anything so I figure I should say something...
Let me see - oh, I'm broke again, but that's really a positive thing since it's giving me the kick I need to sort myself out (God knows I can't keep on as I am - that way lies angry conversations with my bank manager). However that being said there are some great/inspiring stories out there - like the guy who had something like £138,000 out in unsecured loans and a failing company that owed something like £250,000. If he can sort himself out then my paltry problems are really nothing!
Unfortunately though it looks like I might not be making it to Borneo in 2008. That'll really depend on how much I save now that I've properly quit smoking. Again :) Oh and when I accept that S likes me and I don't have to keep trying to impress her!
I hate cash at this point in time :(
Let me see - oh, I'm broke again, but that's really a positive thing since it's giving me the kick I need to sort myself out (God knows I can't keep on as I am - that way lies angry conversations with my bank manager). However that being said there are some great/inspiring stories out there - like the guy who had something like £138,000 out in unsecured loans and a failing company that owed something like £250,000. If he can sort himself out then my paltry problems are really nothing!
Unfortunately though it looks like I might not be making it to Borneo in 2008. That'll really depend on how much I save now that I've properly quit smoking. Again :) Oh and when I accept that S likes me and I don't have to keep trying to impress her!
I hate cash at this point in time :(
September 29, 2006
Seriously unconnected ramblings
I know, it's been a while and I've got a lot to cover. So grab a brew, sit back and relax.
Firstly tall ship sailing rules. I mean seriously rules. There is something utterly amazing about hanging over a yard thirty odd feet up with the wind in your hair and nothing between you and the middle of the channel but a rope and a safety harness - and some of the time not even a safety harness! Basically I was having a whale of a time and Dad would have been unable to watch.
I've got to admit spending that much time around that many disabled people was a huge eye opener too. I've been relatively fortunate to have had dealings with a number of disabled people over the years - but they generally all had a mental disability. Watching someone who had difficulty walking navigating a heaving deck to start hauling on a rope and raise a sail was phenomenolly inspiring. I do recommend it to anyone.
Secondly it appears I've finally reached the stage where not only are all my friends getting married they're also starting to procreate. I'm happy for them, but damn. It feels like I missed a couple of steps out of my life somewhere. I better start playing catch up. Just without the whole kid thing obviously. So not ready for one that I can't give back yet...
Which leads me onto point three. As much as I'd like to give you some interesting news about my love life, I really can't. Maybe tomorrow?
Firstly tall ship sailing rules. I mean seriously rules. There is something utterly amazing about hanging over a yard thirty odd feet up with the wind in your hair and nothing between you and the middle of the channel but a rope and a safety harness - and some of the time not even a safety harness! Basically I was having a whale of a time and Dad would have been unable to watch.
I've got to admit spending that much time around that many disabled people was a huge eye opener too. I've been relatively fortunate to have had dealings with a number of disabled people over the years - but they generally all had a mental disability. Watching someone who had difficulty walking navigating a heaving deck to start hauling on a rope and raise a sail was phenomenolly inspiring. I do recommend it to anyone.
Secondly it appears I've finally reached the stage where not only are all my friends getting married they're also starting to procreate. I'm happy for them, but damn. It feels like I missed a couple of steps out of my life somewhere. I better start playing catch up. Just without the whole kid thing obviously. So not ready for one that I can't give back yet...
Which leads me onto point three. As much as I'd like to give you some interesting news about my love life, I really can't. Maybe tomorrow?
September 22, 2006
Some witty title
Some days for no particular reason it just feels great to be alive.
This is one of those days.
This is one of those days.
September 12, 2006
Redux
Ok there is absolutely no way on Earth that I'm going to be able to wait until tomorrow night. I'm sat here clock watching, waiting until I can start reading again! Hell I'd quit right now if I wasn't worried about missing something important and screwing it up! I don't think I have but really what's a few hours wait when freedom is just around the corner?
My God, I'm actually thrumming with excitment! I finally understand what thrumming with excitment means! I've had this big, dopey grin plastered across my face all day and I can't help it! Actually that's not true, it quickly disappears whenever I have a cigarette. How could I ever have actually enjoyed them? One of the ones I had earlier nearly made me throw up!
I really need to calm down and I know it. I've been in this state since last night and if I'm not careful I'm going to give myself a heart attack!
But damn if this doesn't feel better than sex.
Well maybe not quite that good, but pretty damn close!
My God, I'm actually thrumming with excitment! I finally understand what thrumming with excitment means! I've had this big, dopey grin plastered across my face all day and I can't help it! Actually that's not true, it quickly disappears whenever I have a cigarette. How could I ever have actually enjoyed them? One of the ones I had earlier nearly made me throw up!
I really need to calm down and I know it. I've been in this state since last night and if I'm not careful I'm going to give myself a heart attack!
But damn if this doesn't feel better than sex.
Well maybe not quite that good, but pretty damn close!
Quitting smoking 3 - the end of the series
Sometime either tonight or tomorrow night I will actually, definitely, properly quit smoking. It all depends on when I finish the book.
It's going to be bloody marvellous!
It's going to be bloody marvellous!
September 11, 2006
Pubcrawl the second
I spent yesterday in the glorious sunshine with a rather nice pint, metallic green fingernails, metallic red toenails, green patches in my hair and beard and one bright pink nipple watching people throw black puddings at yorkshire puddings.
Does life get any better?
Oh and hell hath no fury like two women scorned and then told that they wouldn't dare...
I learnt a rather valuable lesson in life I think, I'm just not sure what it was.
Does life get any better?
Oh and hell hath no fury like two women scorned and then told that they wouldn't dare...
I learnt a rather valuable lesson in life I think, I'm just not sure what it was.
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